I have been having this conversation a lot with friends recently--when my writing comes up I keep shaking my head and repeating my apology for how pathetic it has been. Pathetic as in dripping with pathos...I am down on it pretty bad. I think there have been some redemptive elements, and I think it may speak to people, but there is a lot of drama on this blog. And regardless of what my co-host Thane says, I'm not actually that dramatic. (I realize how ironic this is given the dramatic title to this piece...)
My theory: I wrote most everything on this blog while in the VICE. And when you're in that affliction, everything you write is jaded, smelling of cynicism, desperation, and out-of-balance ideas. It is dramatic. And it's exhausting.
I stopped writing in 2017 mainly because I had to. As my health improved and my life became more normal, I began to feel all of this, and I began to throw the baby out with the bathwater. I was confused and just wanted to keep my mouth shut until I could get through this growing stage and see more clearly what I am to do. What my writing is to be.
That time has allowed me to realize afresh the true worth of writing. When someone guides my thoughts with their words, and my internal word-sense follows them, I make connections and see things I wouldn't have seen on my own. Great writing blazes trails in my imagination, and that is a grand service, a real tool for Truth and Kingdom. G.K. Chesterton is my home-boy. We've never met, but his writing is nectar to my soul.
I am in the process of renovating/restoring my house (built in 1940) and growing in my career, so I will still write infrequently (until I get done with the house), but I just wanted to update you and explain the shift in my soul. I'm really excited about getting into a rhythm of writing again, and this blog is dear to my heart. As pathetic as it may be sometimes, God uses it, and I am thankful for all your feedback and encouragements. I'm very excited about what writing will come out of me in the future, in the light.
From darkness into light. Post tenebrus Lux.